Tuesday, January 31, 2012

A Course Heading On The Sea of Uncertainty... from a tusted source

For the past six month's I've been on journey through what I am calling the sea of uncertainty. The job I've been dreaming of for the past 10years at least had come to an end: no more funding, and I find myself adrift in where to from here. Offers given and rejected, or offers made by me turned down. And now I am praying about a very concrete possibility, at a time when I've been given some other very attractive alternatives. In the midst of all this I've been looking for a sign... some kind of leading... a direction: a blinding light would be great, so would a voice from heaven, or a dream or something...

 In the midst of that I'm reading an old print mentor in Leonard Sweet, and his new book 'I Am A Follower", a book that is a first for me... A pre-ordered kindle book! In it there is a story recorded from the life of John F Kavanaugh (The Word Engaged: Meditations On The Scripture)  as he sought direction for his future. It comes from a six month period he spent in Calcutta at the house of the dying and gives a very good course heading amidst the sea of uncertainty...

"On the first morning I met Mother Teresa" He says,' After Mass at dawn. She asked, "and what can I do for you? I asked her to pray for me. "what do you want me to pray for?" I voiced a request i had borne thousands of miles:"Pray that I have clarity." She said no. That was that. When I asked her why, she announced that clarity was the last thing I was clinging to and had to let go of. When I commented that she herself always seemed to have the clarity I longed for , she laughed: " I have never had clarity; what I've always had is trust. So I will pray that you trust."  
Not the easiest course ... but in the end the only one.

Sweet concluded his chapter on trust by saying

"Church culture has fashioned an addiction to safety and security. If we cannot plot a future path with visible security, then we cannot imagine God would call us or lead us down it. But the way of the cross is one of trust, and it is trust that leads us to obedience in following the Master where ever he leads.

The path may be uncertain. But for the trust casting pilgrim, the One we follow will never steer us wrong." (I AM A Follower 2012) 

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